"Of Naysayers. Haters. Gaslighters. Energy Vampires"

 I read a book once where the author said, "Seeing people for who they REALLY are is one of the most valuable and profitable things you can do in life."

Naysayers. Haters. Gaslighters. Energy vampires.

There's no avoiding them. They pop up at work, school, a rude ("I hate my job") cashier at your local convenience store, a friend, church services, sports events, family gatherings, competitive singing TV shows ... you name it. Thank goodness there are proven methods you can use to banish them forever, or at least minimize the irritation they bring into your otherwise generally pleasant day.

Recently, in a phone chit chat with a  friend, I mentioned another friend of mine I've known for years, has become a certified, undeniable, energy vampire. She has two moods---grumpy and grumpier. I LOVE the term...energy vampire... as I have encountered a number of them over the years, and it seems like such a good description. Just in case you're out of the loop, an energy vampire is defined as:

"Friends, family members or coworkers who literally zap your emotional energy."

(Break out the garlic and sharp, wooden stakes).

According to Psych Central, energy vampires tend to be emotionally immature, self-centered and lack empathy. 

The million dollar question is "How do you deal with energy vampires who suck you of your energy?"

Some suggestions are: hang out in groups of three or more, stick to light topics when chatting, lend an ear, reduce contact, and cut them out of your life. 

A longtime friend is a "triple play threat." An energy vampire, naysayer, and hater. (Other than that, she's a great gal!) Sometimes the phone rings,  I see her name on caller ID, and I just can't answer the phone. One afternoon, I was "treated" to her ear shattering, 1000 decibel screech about how awful Kelly Clarkson dresses on her afternoon TV talk show. I let her rant for a bit, then told her she can always change the channel. "Just grab that little black thing we call a remote, and change the channel." What an idea! Nope. That flies right over her head. I'm positive she enjoys the hating way too much.  Another time, it was about Good Morning America's host, former football player, Michael Strahan, and how much she hates the gap in his front teeth. I informed her that some viewers like the gap, and some don't, as I heard him say one morning on the show. That launched another shout down on the phone, to which I tried to change the subject quickly---"WOW. How about this great weather we're having!" Or, "How about those Warriors and Steph Curry. They kicked butt last night!" That was met with a typical, monotone, Debbie Downer from her, "I don't watch men's basketball John." OKKKK! Sour pusses will be sour pusses, I guess. Just trying to elevate the conversation.

I had a few naysayers when I told them I was going to go to radio/broadcast school to learn to become a deejay, at the age of 18. "Oh really? (sarcastic chuckle), let us know how THAT works out." In a way, that kind of drove me. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Those types of discouraging comments can put a bit of a chip on your shoulder. But it turned out to be good. I had a very satisfying on-air career for 20+ years in places like West Palm Beach, Charlotte, Akron-Canton, Miami, Joplin ("Oh no! Another tornado!") and met many recording artists and celebrities; most of them very nice to talk to. I also worked alongside some very talented people and learned a lot. Meeting the often outspoken station listeners was cool too. "You guys play too many commercials and you play the same songs over and over!" Or, "Why are you guys already playing Christmas music? I haven't even digested the turkey from Thanksgiving?" (Truth be known: Radio ratings went up considerably when we went early with the Christmas tunes).

As for the haters who are often insecure and get enjoyment out of trying to marginalize your success by knocking you down a peg or two, ignoring them or removing them from your life is a very useful option. I have an attention seeking brother-in-law (4th grader mentality) who for some reason likes to play the hater card on me; childish, verbal attacks. Jealousy comes to mind; a very common hater trait. We rarely see each other, but at family funerals,and I'm OK with that. My technique? Simple... I ignore. The contrived drama that is thrown my way goes in one ear and out the other. And this is coming from a man of supposed high intellect who is a director at an institute of a well known university! 

 Backhanded/patronizing comments are definitely a part of the hater toolbox. A sassy co-worker in the coffee break room who says, "Hey (fill in the name), NICE shoes! Where'd you get them, Pay Less?" Wouldn't you just love to stick a bagel in her yapper.

Wanna bring your haters out of the woodwork; as in by the dozens? Hit the Powerball jackpot.  As the old Bachman Turner Overdrive song lyric goes, "You ain't seen nothin' yet!" People you thought were your friends/family will be seething with jealousy. Not your fault the lottery Gods showered their good luck down on you! By the way, as I write this post, the current jackpot stands at $450 million ; worthy of at least a one ticket purchase. Yep, I'm on that lottery playing train: "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. All you need is one ticket."

This post is getting long, so I'll skip a lengthy chat about the gaslighters. You probably know what challenges they present. If you don't, Google the term. I can tell you from experience to watch out for the "tag team" husband and wife gaslighters. They love to work together with a plan, and have it down to a science. Bullies. Two against one.

As you go up the ladder in your profession of choice, these kinds of sad and sorry people will try to take cheap shots and bring you down. March on. Ignore. Smile. Your daily success will be your victory. Land that next voice-over job. When you do, celebrate a bit. You deserve it! Oh, and tell Debbie Downer to take a hike.

                                                                            

"Do I need a voice over agent?"

 Those just jumping into doing voice overs may long for agent representation thinking it will lead to great jobs falling in their lap. Odds are, it won't. Which leads to the question, "Do I need a voice over agent to succeed in the competitive voice over field?" The rather vague answer is "It all depends." You say, "Depends on what?" It depends on what kind of voice over you are pursuing and what your goals are; where you want to go. There are many voice actors making a good living without an agent. They may be thriving in non union corporate narration or learning voice over. Or perhaps are in demand for audio book narration.  On the other hand, if you're looking to land a national TV commercial , you're more than likely going to need an agent. Why? Because capable agents can get you in the door for an audition and hopefully a sweet voice over gig.  Also, they have access to casting/audition notices early in the process.  They have connections.  An agent can't land you the job. That's on you and your audition. There is no magic wand. Having an agent is no guarantee of future success in the VO industry. And getting an agent to bring you onboard can be very frustrating. They may already have a voice talent that sounds similar to you. They have a roster of voice talents they represent and handle. They don't need you at this time. Or,they're just not that impressed with your demo. And when you approach an agent and are lucky enough to present your demo for representation consideration, it's got to be good. Really good. Like the old saying goes, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." I would say concentrate on your marketing and letting people know you're available and studio equipped at home. Don't get caught up on the fact that you don't have an agent. Remember, they're not magicians. Much of your success will depend on YOU.

Voice over stars in a limo heading to an awards show. (R rated)

 OK. OK. I know this clip is very dated but ...here's a funny skit with 5 VO superstars from way back. Don LaFontaine, the late, great movie trailer voice (''In a world...") was booked and in such demand that he took a limo during the day to production studios (pre-home studios) to record voice overs;one after another. He was a generous guy and would sometimes allow certain people to ride with him. He was also known to record simple voicemail messages for folks he met in between sessions. What a kick to have Don recording your voicemail message!  Your friends were impressed. Or, maybe somewhat envious.

This is an old video but always makes me smile. Stay with it!  It's not very long. To see the faces that go with the voices-PRICELESS!  Classic voice over guys including the man who was the voice of Disney-Mark Elliot;a very familiar voice taking some of us way back to our childhood.

Well, "I'm movin' on up"... to a new recording space

 After 14 years of recording voice overs from a good studio location, I was informed the building was being taken over by the owner. It made me a bit sad;and frankly, dreading making a move to a new location. I was very comfortable where I was. As any voice actor will tell you, when recording, silence is golden. Not everyone works from a soundproof booth. So, the challenge is to find an acceptable recording space without unwanted sounds leaking into your recordings. No easy task!. We're all so used to living in a very loud world. We let the noise go in one ear and out the other. But sensitive microphones can pick up everything! And we don't want that. Your neighbor running his weed eater at 8 o'clock in the morning can be problematic. Where I recorded, I was working around the occasional noisy truck coming down the street, or a dog bark or two off in the distance. My Sennheiser 416 microphone does a great job rejecting outside noise. So glad I bought one years ago. It's my workhorse mic. 

I have a fellow voice over friend named Christy who I've known for many years. She lived in LA and recorded mainly audio books from her pro voice over booth. She decided to leave LA and move to Oregon. I remember her telling me how god awful heavy the booth was and what a huge effort it was to break it apart and take it to the new location. That definitely doesn't sound like fun. Time to hire a few, big, burly dudes to help out.

As for my move to a new, suitable recording location, I had a sort of miracle happen. I was able to find a spot right across the street from me! I am beyond grateful. Tears of joy come to mind. I fine tuned my new recording space and away we went. No long moving trips across town here in the very busy traffic of  East Bay San Francisco to relocate my recording equipment. And I actually like my new studio set-up better than what I had.

I have a longtime e Learning client (my #1) who was patient and understood I was going to have to take a break from recording her scripts as the hunt was on for a new studio location. She told me she would rather have her fingernails pulled out in a torture treatment than have to make a move. I think lots of folks hate moving. You're reminded of all the junk you've accumulated that you never use. But once you get settled, you can prop your feet up and take a nice, long rest and be thankful the move is over. I know I am. Cheers!

Funny man Steve Martin on being undeniably good

 I think most folks would agree, comedian Steve Martin has enjoyed phenomenal success in his long career.  So many funny moments on screen. And who could forget his controversial song "King Tut" from the late 70's. He wrote it by the way. Some people weren't laughing and called it racist. (that's for a conversation at another time). He's been known to bring his banjo with him and play at San Francisco's "Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival" in Golden Gate Park. Cool thing is it's a FREE event. A day well spent with the talented musicians. I highly recommend it. But just know it gets very crowded. I went one year. "Sardines" comes to mind. (elbow to elbow).

Steve had this to say about being undeniably good. As you grow in your voice over career, keep this in mind. (or any career for that matter).

From A-Z quotes...

"Be undeniably good. When people ask me how do you make it in show business or whatever, what I always tell them & nobody ever takes note of it 'cause it's not the answer they wanted to hear-what they want to hear is here's how you get an agent, here's how you write a script, here's how you do this-but I always say, “Be so good they can't ignore you.” If somebody's thinking, “How can I be really good?” people are going to come to you. It's much easier doing it that way than going to cocktail parties."

Here's a link to a cool CBS Sunday Morning interview with him from the archives. I didn't know he is such an art fan and collector. At the very end of the interview, he breaks out his banjo.

                                                                               

"Pssst! I have something really cool to share with you"

 One of my favorite, top tier, A list voice actors is Scott Rummell; a terrific promo and trailer voice. He's a big league talent you've no doubt heard over the years. A Disney voice, Lee Jeans and much more. He also seems like a very generous and nice guy. 

Here's a link to Scott in an L.A. studio recording a new commercial demo. Watch the process. Much to learn from this. It runs about 20 minutes. You'll notice the session was "light and breezy." The guy producing the demos is Chuck Duran of "Demos That Rock Studio" in L.A. 

And here's a link to a really entertaining TED Talk Scott gave where he speaks about how he got started in voice acting. Very enjoyable. I highly recommend you watch it. It's truly inspirational and also runs about 20 minutes. If you've been sitting on the fence about getting into voice acting, maybe this will give you the kick in the pants you need. Even if you're not a voice actor, check it out. The power of persistence comes through loud and clear.

Scott has a terrific sense of humor and looks like he would be most pleasant to work with in a session. And that's key as a voice talent. No one wants to work with a diva. Follow their direction and make it easy to work with you. If word gets out you're "cranky and crabby" to work with, you'll probably not be on their short list of professional voice over talents to audition for the good jobs you're looking for.