Like a good number of full-time voice actors, I audition on a daily basis in between paying voice jobs. I like to skip the morning comics section of my newspaper and instead look at the baffling direction that tops some audition scripts. Here are a few I found "interesting." I have not altered them in any way.
From a Voices.com audition:
“Don't be afraid to add emphasis on certain words just as long as it sounds PROFESSIONAL.” (So glad you gave us that permission.)
And this one:
Male, 30-60 years old.
"Should sound intelligent, but not professorial. Non Announce sounding. Casual but not everyman. This person should sound as though they are smarter than the audience, but are still very approachable. The voice should carry a weight of understated intelligence." (I may be mistaken, but I think they want to hire Oprah. Oops, no their job spec says,"Male, 30-60 years old." My bad.)
And of course, I absolutely love the casting calls where they're looking for a James Earl Jones sound alike ("Voice of God") and they're budgeting $100 for the voice-over. I almost want to email them, tongue planted firmly in cheek, and tell them that instead of posting for a James Earl Jones sound alike, they might want to get in touch with him and see if he'll take a pay cut from the norm and voice their script for $50. I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.
In all fairness to accomplished producers and casting folks, the above are not typical of most audition notices I receive. But they do provide some much needed comedic relief in our often very stressful and time-line driven business.
If you're a voice talent, undoubtedly, you've had a few amusing job leads come your way. Feel free to post them in the comments section below.